Dallas Willard (1935-2013) wrote, “Solitude and silence, fasting and frugality, study and worship, service and submission—and other practices that serve in the same way (there is no complete list)—are therefore integral parts of any reliable program of spiritual formation. They should be a substantial part of our private lives and of our associations with others in the body of Christ. They do not earn merit, but they do allow us to receive from God what will not be passively bestowed. They are not righteousness but wisdom.”
Being formed a certain way is like all other formation: it takes practice. Maturity and Wisdom are intentional pursuits and do not come easily without practice. As with all Spiritual Formation it is always worth the effort.
“But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Jesus