When children (small and/or adult) have not been affirmed and confirmed by love, acceptance and forgiveness they often spend great amounts of time and energy trying to get personal confirmation. Many of these attempts are often destructive, addictive or toxic. And, without even knowing the person is simply wanting someone to notice them and be pleased with them.
I am one of the privileged people who was raised by a mother and father who loved and cared for my brothers and me in every way. But then later on I heard messages from school teachers, Sunday school teachers, coaches, scout leaders, and other adult leaders that were not very confirming to say the least. Much of this was earned because of rebellion and trying to be noticed in wrong ways. I just didn’t give a rip. I took this message of being unacceptable as a threat and learned to live in defensive and freewheeling independence. If a person does not need anyone else they do not need their acceptance either.
One of the greatest breakthroughs in my life after several years of feeling unacceptable was not long after I received Jesus and was baptized in Holy Spirit. In silence I heard the Father say: “You are my loved son in whom I am well pleased.” That changed everything then and has to this day. Every man and woman, boy and girl needs to hear God the Father tell them: “You are my loved son/daughter and I am very well pleased with you.”
“You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” God the Father