LATE SPRING OLD PEOPLE’S CHECKUP

Time quickly rolls around and just like that I’m at the Lab getting a blood draw to test everything in my body. Most of the Lab Test Results are in abbreviations like STP, ORG, 911, YIKES, OLD, BAD, RED, UGLY, OHMY, and other such things that only a few medical people understand and I have no idea about. I just know it’s very close to the grading system Mrs. Hughes used in her fifth-grade history class where I rarely was above a C- or D+. Labs seem about the same.

Before getting the check-up, I have to meet up with Delores the Medical Assistant. Before a, “hello,” it’s “hop up on the scales.” I asked Delores where the scales were and she pointed to this piece of junk from some Thrift Store and I told her it did not look safe and I wasn’t going to risk injury getting on it. I gave her an estimate of my weight and she broke out in laughter and wrote something down. She gets tickled at the strangest things. I don’t like coming here.

After Blood Pressure and other vitals, she wanted to know if I had any issues since my last visit. I was reluctant to tell her about my lips…but thought maybe I should…doctor’s office and all. I told Delores, “My Lips were starting to come out of the Lip Carriages around my Mouth. There are parts of lips that are supposed to be in the Lip Rails and stay around the Mouth Opening to be normal lips, and with aging they start to sag… like other parts. Or, they get fat and just kind of hang out over the Lip Carriages and it looks like a person has double lips on each lip.” She said she wasn’t really familiar with Lip Carriage problems and she would certainly tell the doctor about it. I hope to get an answer soon.

This Fat Lip is sure different than the one’s I got out on the playground during recess break… after Mrs. Hughes history class.

No, really, this is what happened.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Jesus