UP AND DOWN AND SIDEWAYS

I have never been able to get it straight in my mind the difference in horizontal and vertical… never figured it out. Those two words don’t work for me. Maybe I have vertigo, but that also means I have horizontalago as well. They just don’t click in my clicker.

So, I slowly thought about this…vertical is up and down. Horizontal is level, sideways, flat as pancake.
Vertical is like heaven and hell… earth and sky… Canada and Mexico. Horizontal is flat as a flitter, level, on the bubble, or flat as a bicycle tire with a goat head in it. As soon as I get this far and someone says, ‘Is it vertical…?’ I wonder, now is that up and down or sideways? I can’t remember the earth and sky and pancakes and bicycle tire stuff.

Someone suggested I get a tattoo with four corners like a big + sign and have horizontal on the flat line and up and down tatted on the vertical line of the tattoo. If I had it put on my forearm I could easily see and know up from down and flat. Kind of like a compass.

I’m headed over to the other side of the Pond to have some Cuban Coffee and Roz’s Fresh Peach Cobbler and try to decide which arm to have the tattoo put on… because if it is in the wrong place on the wrong arm, then the up and down could appear to be flat and visa versa… you can see the problem. I have to work through this.

No, really, that’s what happened.

“You shall know the truth and truth will set you free.” Jesus