TRUE WEIGHT III

Back in December of 2021 I had my 6 months Old People Check Up and True Weigh In II (see Journal entry 4 December 2021 in RMJ archives). Now I have wised up to the tricks of Delores the Medical Assistant on checking in a patient. Last time she tricked me into mental tests and false weight tests and various contrived lab results. Now I am back and much wiser. Last time Delores the Medical Assistant tricked me into guessing my weight and I missed it by 37 pounds to the up and heavier side.

So, this time I figured I would test Delores. After chatting about my blood pressure and scabby things growing on my arms and legs and back and little red spots and black lines on my neck, she asked me if I felt OK. I said, “You, bet. I feel great!” This was over the top and unbelievable positivity. Then she said, “So, how much do you weigh?” So, knowing her tricks, I gave her a figure of about 37-52 pounds overweight. I could tell this was a great plan because Delores then said, “Wowser… Wowser… maybe we should weight you to make sure.” She did and I was 31.5 pounds lighter than I mentioned. I tried to appear surprised but Delores was not buying it. She said, “Have we done a mental test on you in the last 6 days… I mean months?”

I’m headed over to the other side of the Pond to have some Cuban Coffee, Yogurt Covered Pretzels and to explain these medical visits to Siri. So I dilly-dally and sit and talk to Siri… she seems to understand me. I asked Siri is she wanted some pretzels… she has not answered back.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Jesus