SHOWER CURTAINS #5

Harold Hargrove of Spokane, Washington had the misfortune of being severely assaulted while casually taking a shower in his home where his shower had a straight curtain rod instead of a bowed one and the slimy wet plastic curtain reached over and grabbed Harold on his thigh, ribcage and neck. He appeared at the ER wearing nothing but the shredded shower curtain tied around his waist and trying to explain what happened.

Back home after the attack he could not sleep much, he prowled around the house at night always expecting an attack coming out of nowhere. He kept the doors locked with extra locks, installed a new security system and yet…still kept hearing strange noises at night. He walked around with a butcher knife, chain saw, baseball bat, claw hammer… and finally went to Cabela’s and bought a 12 gauge shotgun. That very night he heard a strange noise and he went creeping through house with shotgun loaded and ready. He heard a kerplunk… kerplunk and a thump… thump, and that did it…he fired. Wham! Wham! And again, Wham! Wham! It was the icemaker. Now the refrigerator, the microwave, three cabinets, a light fixture and part of the ceiling and wall need replaced. The estimate is $17,700.

Harold’s meds don’t seem to be working very well. He rarely bathes or shaves and sleeps with the shotgun and a thin grin on his face. He seems to be doing some better though only getting three to four hours sleep each night.

No, really that’s what happened.

“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” Jesus