MORE WEIGH IN

I recently went to see my doctor for another Old People’s Six Month appraisal. Before this appraisal I have go and get various blood tests at the lab that tell other people things they have no business knowing about me. Then I have to go through the appraisal preliminaries with Delores the Medical Assistant. This always starts with the Weigh In. After I get off their faulty inaccurate creaky old antique scales, it’s on to the blood pressure machine and heart rate gizmo.

Delores started looking over my weight with a furrowed brow and I told her that I had been working on my Self Worth. She said, “If your self-worth is by the pound, you are worth quite a bit.” I think that was Delores’ way of giving me a compliment. She is into mindfulness like that with her patients.

She asked me if any of my medications had changed since my last visit. I told her they had not except I was taking apple cider vinegar and honey twice a day and eating Seaweed Tablets and not eating any shellfish. She mentioned that none of those are medications and I told her that a doctor on television told me to take this stuff if I wanted to feel like I was thirty years old and have no stiffness in my joints, and lose 40 pounds in 3 weeks. Delores started to shake her head and weep a little and said the doctor would be in soon. She is a tender and dedicated medical worker…for which I am thankful.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Jesus