LEARNING TO SPEAK MULE

I learned to speak some Mule as a teenager. I worked for a private Pack Station and then the Forest Service as a Back Country Patrolman for fire and trail maintenance. I had a backcountry cabin and a fenced meadow and a mountain horse and a string of eight mules. I love mules.

I already knew how to speak a little Horse and some Cow, a lot of Dog but now I was quickly learning Mule. To learn to speak Mule one must know something about them. Some things I learned:

Mules are smarter than people.
Mules are smarter than horses, dogs or snakes.
Mules have excellent hearing (if they choose to hear).
Mules have excellent vision (if they choose to see).
Mules will make friends with you just before they bite you.
Mules will not kick you until you are not expecting it.
Mules are much more sure-footed than man or horse.
Mules like to take a nosebag and maybe part of your nose with it.
Mules are pound for pound extremely strong.
Mules like to be with Mules…they barely tolerate anything or anyone else.
Mules think their own thoughts, do things their own way and are only as tolerant as they have to be.
Mules each have a temperament and if you think you know what it is you have not been around mules long enough.
Mules can fake being asleep better than a horse.
Mules are stubborn (if they choose to be and they often choose to be).
Mules are very fine looking animals and they know it, are very vain and have a high opinion of themselves.
Mules talk in low muffled tones and the Hee Haw is just to distract others from what they are really saying. (The Hee Haw is also to release frustration).

Learning to speak Mule is no easy task and some of the language used should not be on a Meditation Page like this one. Especially the words used as one wakes up with Mule Nightmares and is screaming Mule words in the middle of the night. I love Mules.

“If I speak truth, why do you not believe me?” Jesus