EASY INSTRUCTIONS

To operate Roz’s washing machine one must attend thirty-one hours of certified instruction from a certified instructor at the certified instruction place. To operate the dryer is another nineteen hours. This is to help a person get through the 785-page manual of ‘Simple Instructions.’ Both have digital panels on the front with endless selections and choices. Little lights flicker and buzzers go on and off and bells ring and horns sound and supposedly one then knows what to do next. These are very dangerous and complicated machines and no one over thirty-seven years old should try to operate them, especially if they have high blood pressure, schizophrenia, cataracts, cold sweats, repressed anger tendencies, red spots, red lines, red eyes, red rash or red bumps. Several people have dropped dead just looking at the instructional manual and watching the little lights and buttons on the panel.

If one does not have any of these symptoms, within the first seven minutes of operation they will. That is a manufactures 100% guarantee. You get no money back.

This is what I advocate on most all equipment of any kind: No lights or digital anything. Just knobs that say On-Off, Up-Down, Fast-Slow, Pull-Push, Hot-Cold, Loud-Quiet. For those more advanced and with greater depth in mechanics and technology one might add: Up-Down, Long-Short, Big-Little, Open-Shut. That’s it. Anything else is not easy instructions.

“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” Jesus