ANOTHER WEIGH-IN

I recently had to have another Old People’s Multiple Trip Per Year Check-up and Weigh In. Before I can see the doctor I have to see Delores the Medical Assistant. All in one sentence she says, “Hi…get on the scales…let’s weigh you in…” I looked over in that deep black danger area where the scales are…and they were the same as last trip. They were her Yard Sale, rusty, worn-out and falling-to-pieces scales. I just call them Perjury Scales now. I got on and Delores checked the numbers a couple times and wrote down some ridiculous number. Doesn’t matter, it’s not true.

After the Weigh-In I thought I might quote some scripture to Delores to help get her mind off the weigh in. I said, well you know, ‘To whom much is given, much is required.’ Delores said looking at my chart, ‘I think quite a bit is required of you.’ I told her thank you, because I know that was a compliment and she must have enjoyed that touch from the Bible.

She asked about all my meds and if I was seeing any red spots or brown spots floating by just sitting looking at a wall. I told her no… but if you run your tongue outside and across your top lip multiple times all the way across… you can see how some one invented the windshield wiper. I ask her to try it. Delores immediately wanted to know if I was taking my little blue pills every day.

Not much can rattle Delores. There are many things that can only be seen through the eyes of a Medical Assistant who has already seen 47 old people that day before they seeing you.

No really, that’s what happened.

“For to whom much is given, of him much shall be required. And from him to whom much was entrusted, much will be asked.” Jesus