THE FALL CHECK UP

It’s Fall and that means it’s time for the Old People’s Fall Check Up. These checkups are not for the faint of heart especially if one has a fainting heart. There is no checking anything until Delores the Medical Assistant has put you on the antique, rickety, duct-taped, glued together worthless scales and expects to get a proper reading. It doesn’t matter what they say… they are wrong.

After the weigh-in, Delores asked me how I was doing and I told her OK but I have a tendency to keep everything inside. She told me she could see that from the weigh-in. I’m just glad she understands.

She asked if there was anything else. I was a little reluctant to tell her about how my head keeps tilting from side to side. Wanting to know what I thought was causing it…I told her. It has to do with my Brain Sockets. The Brain Sockets are like a honeycomb in our brains and each little socket is filled with various information we collect and store in that socket. I’m thinking that when the sockets on one side of our brains become fuller than the other side, it causes our head to tilt to the heavy side. Or, if certain sockets are completely full and can’t receive any more information, they overflow across other sockets. Then we start tilting to one side or the other.

Delores said she wasn’t really familiar with Brain Socket trouble and said she would refer it directly to the doctor immediately and left the room. I don’t like these check-ups, they ask too many personal questions.

No, really, that’s what happened.

“Because I speak the truth, you don’t believe me.” Jesus