FIRST OF THE YEAR CHECK UP

I recently had to go in for my First of the Year-Old People Checkup. Delores the Medical Assistant had me step on an area that was camouflaged and I didn’t know I was stepping on camo scales for the weigh-in. Her camo scales were wrong. They were purchased from an Army Surplus from World War II… so the whole camouflaged thing did not work and I don’t weigh that much.

I was then taken down to the exam room #3 and once inside and waiting for a blood pressure and heart rate check from Delores… I glanced over at the large display presentations on the wall of Adam and Eve showing all of their glands, blood vessels, canals, muscles, XXX, arteries, stomach and intestines, kidneys, spleen, XXX, pancreas, heart, eyeballs, tongue, XXX … in all their Adam and Eve…ness. The chart was two feet wide and four feet tall. Couldn’t miss it or see much of anything else in that room. Then over in the corner there was someone’s complete spine with all the vertebras lined up on a steel rod … The other corners had a fake knee with a metal knee joint and a shoulder with a metal joint… and a skull with a wire hinge jaw with talking teeth…and neck joints.

My blood pressure and heart rate readings were very high. I mentioned to Delores that everything looked pretty open and on display in this room. She said something about it being a doctor’s office and I was just sweating and went silent. This place is creepy… these checkups are creepy. Children or adults should not be allowed in this room.

No, really, that’s what happened.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Jesus