BELIEVING OUR DOUBTS

Recently in early morning prayer… I started to lift my hands and heart to the Lord… I felt and sensed a blank, nothing, zero. Stone Cold prayer.

I started asking the Lord to take away my uplifted fingers of doubt, my hands of doubt, my arms of doubt, my mind of doubt, my mouth of doubt, my tongue of doubt, take away my eyes of doubt …my body of doubt. Wasted.

I believe the Lord heard this outpouring of doubt and was merciful to me. I also believe that doubt is certainly a part of faith.

Dallas Willard (1938-2013) in a conversation said: “Actually, doubts may become dogmatic (rigid, unbending) doubts… if you’re going to be a doubter, be sure to doubt your doubts as well as your beliefs. And we’re taught in our culture to think that a person who doubts is essentially smarter than a person who believes, but you can be as dumb as a cabbage and still say, “Why?” Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts as well as doubt your beliefs and believe your doubts.”

I may go to prayer and contemplation doubting and I may go with faith…I think it will always be both for me. I also think the Father has mercy for both.

“You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Jesus